Disillusionment has been the most persistent companion of mine in recent political cycles.

With each election and its aftermath, I find myself resentfully looking back at my grade school days, where we started every morning pledging allegiance to the US flag, “under God,” promising liberty and justice for all.

In 2016, during the second presidential election I was old enough to vote in, I watched in horror as a man with sexual assault allegations became the US president—his most infamous quote bragging about how he could “grab” and violate women.

I cringed with embarrassment when overseas friends asked, “What’s going on with the US?” I never had a good answer.

I gritted my teeth as political discourse—both on TV and in intimate settings—devolved from policy disagreements into hate-fueled arguments.

My disillusionment seeped more deeply into my bones in 2020 when the same toxic rhetoric persisted through the election and the following four years, clinging to the air like miasma.

Apathy set in as meaningful debate about candidates’ merits became impossible. As a comedian recently put it, arguing about policy details in this climate was like “worrying about the paint color as the entire house is burning.”

In June 2022, my heart felt hollow when the overturning of Roe v. Wade stripped away my rights. My state, Missouri, quickly enacted trigger laws banning reproductive rights and restricting reproductive healthcare. I lived to see the day where I had less rights than my mother did at my age. That horror lives with me each day.

After years of pledging allegiance to the US flag, it seemed that both it and the government it symbolized were failing citizens left and right.

Despite all this, my spouse and I stood in line at 6:30 in the morning, in the rain, to cast our votes.

Despite all this, I still have hope for this country.

Despite all this, I believe there are still people who want progress and desire to live in a country truly committed to liberty and justice for ALL.

If this sounds all too familiar, please vote.

We only descend into chaos if we allow it.

Happy Election Day if you’re in the U.S.,

Monica